Getting Through Life's Storms

I grew up in a stable home with both parents and 2 sisters. I am the middle child, which has its own underlying issues, but for the most part, my childhood was peaceful. I’m not sure how I ended up where I am today, but I know with God and a little patience I’ll be OK.

I’ve been a multi tasker my whole life. Working multiple jobs, dating multiple people, raising multiple kids. I can run a classroom with 24 six year old’s like a champ. Come home, do homework, work out, make dinner, clean, do laundry, bathe the kids, read a bedtime story, shower, go to bed, get up the next day and do it all over again. I can grade papers, do lesson plans, squeeze in tutoring sessions, multiple sports and dance classes, even an occasional Bible study class.

I am the mother of 6 children. 3 biological, 1 step, and 2 grands. I am married to a man who loves the most and hates the most. He is the best dad today and the worst tomorrow. He does the best he can with the life he has been given. If you’ve never experienced life with a bipolar partner, then imagine every emotion you feel on a rollercoaster ride. Extreme highs, intense fears, slight calm, then it starts all over again. Then imagine the saddest day of your life and sprinkle that in along the ride.

7 months ago when Covid-19 hit, people began to struggle with anxiety, wondering if they would catch it and if they would die. Anxiety over the lack of toilet paper and how to get tested. Then as time wore on the anxiety and the isolation led to depression. The emotional roller coaster of this pandemic has wreaked havoc on many who never suffered from any mental disfunction before.

I was lucky because I happened to have accidentally bulk ordered toilet paper twice at the end of February. There was little chance we would run out of that. I was told to work from home, so I didn’t lose my job. Although there was a tremendous learning curve to teach remotely. My husband did lose his job, so he was home to help with the kids while I worked. Covid did not bring us down. You see, we live in chaos and fear on a daily basis. This was nothing.

Not only am I married to a man who suffers daily from bipolar disorder. I am also raising my 2 grandsons who suffer from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Disorder, which has so far displayed itself as ADHD, Bipolar, and Oppositional Defiance. Their mom, my step daughter, also suffers from bipolar disorder and maybe other mental afflictions for which she self medicates. There is a constant worry for her health and safety.

Then there are my bio kids. One son, and 2 daughters. All are loved tremendously by both their dad and me. My son is grown and attempting life on his own. My youngest daughter is 10 and trying to navigate through our messy life. Then their is my 19 year old daughter who is a sex trafficking victim and the straw that broke this camel’s back.

I’ve waded through these mudding waters quite gracefully for the last 20 something years. Now the water is getting too thick and the weight of it all is bringing me down. I recognized the signs rather quickly. Extreme fear for the safety of my daughter and the rest of my family, intense exhaustion but inability to sleep. Inability to focus on the task at hand. I knew I was suffering and needed professional help. I’ve observed this from the outside in my husband and kids. Feeling it all myself is overwhelming and finding help is way too hard.

I left work the last time my daughter went missing. I was told to call HR and ask about extended leave. It took over a week for HR to get back with me, then I was told to find a doctor to fill out the FMLA paperwork. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to get an appointment with someone on your insurance who has an opening within the timeline for FMLA? Extremely difficult. Especially when your main focus is finding your child, not turning in forms.

I’ve dealt with and watched mental illness take it’s toll on my family for a long time, but now I’m dealing with the toll it is taking on me. So another journey begins…

Now that you’ve been forced into a homeschooling routine, how can you be productive during this time?

Free Educational Apps and Websites for Math and Reading

• khanacademy.org
• abcmouse.com
• starfall.com
• abcya.com
• coolmath4kids.com

Fun Activities to Encourage Life Long Learning

• Bake a Cake
• Plant some seeds
• Learn to play an Instrument
• Write a Story and Publish it
• Learn to Dance
• Perform a Puppet Show
• Start a Family Band
• Play some card games
• Play board games
• Puzzles!!!
• Legos!

The possibilities are endless…We have the time….Now find that energy.

Whether you wanted to or not, it’s time we all learn to be teachers. Fortunately in this day and age you have a multitude of websites to help educate your children. From the websites already paid for by your local school districts, to the free ones that are popping up everywhere. You would think this should be easy….. Ha!Ha!, welcome to the daily struggles of your overworked and underpaid teachers.

I went from teaching a class of bilingual 9 and 10 year olds, to teaching early childhood special education, Kindergarten with special education services, 2nd grade, and 4th grade. All of this while figuring out how to teach my actual class virtually.

For a little background, one of those bilinguals is my daughter. Teaching her at school, is nothing like trying to teach at home. If you have suddenly been thrown into a similar situation, I hope these small steps will help you get started.

• Set up a place for structured learning. A reading nook, a spot at the table or counter, or a place on the floor. A place your kids will know is for learning, just like school.
• Set up a time for structured learning. Is your kid a morning person, or does he learn better after lunch? I personally am a morning person, but 3 of the 4 kids are not. Figuring the best time for the child can help alleviate some of the stress caused by a child not wanting to work for you.
• Set up a time for unstructured learning. This is my favorite part. As a school teacher, the demands for performance interfere with the creative, and fun activities that stick with the kiddos. At home, there are no high stakes tests, so you can be as creative and fun as you want. This unstructured time should be at least equal to the structured time. The younger the student, the more unstructured learning necessary. For older students, project based learning works well.

Now that you’ve prepared you home school “classroom” and schedule, now start lesson planning.

Structured Learning: Choose books for read alouds and independent reading time. Decide on writing topics. Integrating writing with science activities, and writing about feelings during this strange time, are ways to cover more than one content area at a time. Set up computers and devices with the websites and apps that you have chosen to help continue learning in all content areas.

Unstructured Learning: Cooking, and baking are great activities to cover math and science concepts. It’s the beginning of spring, go outside and plant something. Dramatic Play and Art are 2 areas that require almost no prep. Just put out a few supplies and most kids will take it from there.

Project Based Learning: Find a problem in your local community and attempt to find a solution to the problem. Big or small does not matter. Helping your neighbor, sharing supplies with others, caring for pets and plants. Solving problems requires critical thinking skills that can be used to solve even bigger problems later in life.

One last thing…. Just know that perfection is not required. Just do your best in these strange times and know that all of your effort will be appreciated. Don’t stress, and share the love (not the germs).